The Beginning

Gone are the days where I could go into Topshop and buy size 8 clothing and look good in anything!! See in the last 8 years I've gone from walking everywhere to driving everywhere instead. I've gone from eating healthily to going out for meals every week and eating too many take aways.

The weight has steadily crept on. I'd look in the mirror and think I'm going to do something about it. Holidays were booked and I vowed to lose weight. I've been a bridesmaid on a couple of occasions and didn't want to be the fat girl next to the skinny ones. But after two weeks of eating healthy I'd get bored and would carry on being all the things I didn't want to be.

I got engaged 5 years ago and we got around to setting the date in 2008, plenty of time to get back down to a nice size 10...but as usual it didn't happen. I brought my dress twelve months in advance, it needed to be taken in so I thought I still had plenty of time to slim down. Where do the months go? Before I new it we were in July and I was still a size 14!

Back in May we booked up for a three week trip to Australia and you guessed it I decided I'd go on a diet. Yeah, it lasted a week and then I couldn't give in to the temptation of chocolate buttons. Mmmmm the giant ones, let each one melt in your mouth to make the packet last as long as possible. A packet a day doesn't do the waistline any good!!

Then on the 26 July I decided I was going to eat healthy and go swimming - my favourite exercise. I went to Tesco's stocked up on fruit and brought a new fitness game for the Wii. I went to our allotment and brought home tons of veg. This was it, I was going to do it.

I thought about Australia and how all the girls on the beach will be perfect and I'd be there in a costume regretting not sticking to that diet. I thought about my new family who I'll be meeting while I'm over there and my cousin who is beautiful and slim. I didn't want to be in pictures next to my skinny cousins and me to be sticking out like a sore thumb.

Now whenever I start a diet, from day one I think I wonder how long it'll be before I get bored. Will I last more than two weeks? And this time was no different!!

But it turns out it was. Because I'm now in my 5th week of healthy eating and EXERCISING!

I've never enjoyed exercising. Whenever I went for a run or on a bike ride I'd be in too much pain after 5 minutes and then I'd never want to put myself through it again. But after doing a week on my new Wii game, I decided to ditch the car and walk where possible and I started running. I found a pace and stuck too it. I got my Dad to come on a bike ride with me. He took me up all the hills and I hated it but he spurred me on and kept telling me to think about our time in Australia, we'll be on the beach and I'll be trim, toned and in a bikini.

And now here I am on the 23rd of August, just starting my 5th week of operation bikini body! So far I've lost 10 pounds and I feel so proud, but it's just starting to get tough! I've gone from not wanted to touch cake and chocolate to craving it. But, I stick to 2 slices of Dairy Milk or a mug of hot chocolate and that's doing the trick. I have no idea where the will power is coming from but I need it to stay!

Last week I went out and brought a proper pair of running trainers and a proper running outfit. I never thought I'd see the day but I love my trainers. I couldn't stop looking at them and went out straight for a run to break them in.

I'm lucky enough to live right beside the canal so this is where I started to run, this way no one could see me. But now I'm more confident and don't mind running on the main roads or around the park. I don't care what people think because I'm already 10 pounds down and now I'm getting used to it I can run further. I've gone from thinking omg I tired when can I stop. When I start to feel I can't run anymore I set myself targets to run to and end up passing them.

Yesterday I went on the Sunday afternoon bike ride with my Dad and I was so much better! Yes the banks hurt my legs but they didn't kill me! I didn't need to stop. On the final couple of banks I usually have to stop half way up. My Dad goes ahead and waits for me, but yesterday I cycled on past him, I didn't need to stop. I couldn't get the grin off my face.

But today was a good day!! I live near quite a steep bank on a main road. Its a very big bank (around a mile long) so I usually walk all the way up and then continue running. But today, I'd already ran for 25 minutes without stopping and as I neared Lime Kiln Bank, I told myself I could run up the first steep part of it. I was doubting myself but thought about lying on the beach in my size 10 bikini. And just at the right moment The Killers 'When We Were Young' started to play. Fantastic, one of my favourite songs - I cranked it up as loud as my ears could take and went for it.

As I neared my target point where I told myself I could stop my legs started to give way. They started to slow down but I told myself I had to keep going. A long line of cars were waiting for the lights to change to green, I imagined they'd probably be watching me, waiting for me to give in. I couldn't let them see me fail, I had to keep going. And I did! I just about made it to where I told myself I could stop and when I did I felt elated! I wanted to cry with happiness and pride.

Four weeks ago I would never have run on a main road let alone run up a bank like Lime Kiln but I did. And it shows how far I have come. I'm becoming immune to exercise - now I just have to keep the motivation!